Looking Around, Back & Forward

Mike Ditka the dog and Clint moving forward

It’s been a year of lots of ‘news’ —not ‘news’ as in the stuff that is happening all the time, that stuff we can never keep up with and that often leaves us with a case of the blues. This has been a year of a lot ‘news,’ as in new experiences. Mike Ditka the dog has even taken a couple trips with me. He has made a ton of new friends, and together we accidentally set off a fire alarm at a motel. Personally I have been setting up at more art market events, and this has been a lot of fun. There has been some ups and some downs. At a recent market event, I bought a couple stickers from another artist. The stickers are amazing! They feature a smiling, walking eyeball being trailed by its optic nerve. Surrounding the cute, little fella are the words, “Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way!”

Here’s the thing— that sticker is right on. But here is the other thing— it is remarkably hard not to look back, especially at the end of the year. With all of the emotions and memories that come with the winter Holidays, the desire to look back is nearly irresistible. I used to try not to get caught up thinking about the past, and believe me it made me an unpleasant person to be around at times. With nights of darkness, it is easy to get stuck in the repeat of looking back at losses, so when I saw that sticker I knew I needed that little eyeball dude with me. I said to the artist selling the sticker, “give me two, please!” I want to really remember this.

I have a tendency to want to make everything really good, great even. This can mean combing through the day and wishing I had made a few choices differently, like cringing thinking about how I could have voiced an email differently. It can mean waking early each day only to stare forward for long expanses of time visualizing how things might go and making plans for all of the things that could go wrong.

As I look at the new year ahead, it is okay to feel a sense of sadness when thinking of the people we have lost or things that have changed. It may even be okay to have a small sense of pride in those things we have accomplished. Moreover though, I am trying to embrace gratitude that it all existed— that those people entered my life, that those experiences happened, and that I did those things. With that I will make each day an attempt to look forward but focus on living in the moment. I want to ask myself, “What can today bring?” and “What can I bring to today?” We know most people only in the moments we share, not in the moments reflected or forecasted. I want to focus on being the best me of the moment.

When Mike Ditka the dog and hit the trail next, our eyes will be locked forward. We will heed the advice of the sticky eyeball dude and live in every moment.

Happy New Year and “Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way!”